We all know how the teenage years can affect our children; hormones are flying, and a teenager can feel as though the entire world is against them, and that’s on a good day! If you respond in the wrong way, you simply make the situation worse, and with that in mind, here are a few tips from a psychotherapist on how to handle teenage children.
- Remain calm– Emotions never make the situation better; indeed, getting upset is sure to cause your teenage offspring to follow suit, and before you know it, tempers are flaring, and all logic has gone out the window. If you live in the Melbourne area, enrol in Tuning into Teens, which is a course that equips you with all the tools you need to manage your relationship with your teenage kids and keep things on an even keel.
- Learn to let go– This is extremely difficult for some parents, and it doesn’t mean leaving them to their own devices entirely; rather, it means allowing them to make small mistakes, after all, this is the way we learn. It is easy to smother a child with love and end up doing everything for them, which actually harms them in the long term. Be there for advice and try not to judge; otherwise, the child will not feel comfortable talking to you about issues, afraid of being scolded.
- Allow their own identity to blossom– Many parents see their children as an extension of themselves, and this is not a good approach; every human being has a unique personality, and that really has nothing to do with genetics. If you had always wanted to be a doctor, for example, you should resist the temptation to push your child in that direction, rather accept that they have their own path in life to follow.
- Be a good listener– If your teenage son or daughter trusts you, they are likely to confide in you when they have issues and being a good listener without coming to judgments is important. When they are talking, don’t focus on your reply; rather, try to understand what they are saying, and it’s always good to pause before replying.
The teenage years can be a terrible time for parents, and we hope that the above tips help you to get through these troublesome years.